


Villainy 101

by Taboo_writter



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hawaii Five-0 (2010), Sherlock (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, F/M, Gen, Heroes are psychos, Humor, Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 20:39:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10289144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taboo_writter/pseuds/Taboo_writter
Summary: Basic info all villains should know





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Dysfunctional Rescue Is Still A Rescue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8779321) by [RogueFanKC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueFanKC/pseuds/RogueFanKC). 



> This is silly but inspired by all the fics about how villains should just not fuck with our OTPs.

Lesson 1:  
Although the old damsel in distress trope used to be all the rage back in the 1950's, in the new era were our heroes and heroines have evolved and adjusted to this. Now most of our dear heroes have gotten more homicidal and psychotic than even some of our best masterminds. Therefore the first rule to survive is: Stay away from the damsel in distress trope. The following are examples.

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson- John Watson is a crackshot, he is well versed in the psychotic side of his life and the only reason why he is viewed as the 'normal one's is due to Sherlock's more obvious brand of Crazy. The same applies to the army Doctor. Sherlock is a high functioning sociopath. DO NOT ENGAGE.

Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes:  
They are 70 years older than all of you. They survived been frozen. Must I say more? Please refer to the video for further proof.

Tony Stark/Bruce Banner:  
Tony build a mechanical armor in a cave while under constant supervision and being tortured. Banner turns into an unkillable green monster. If you attempt anything against either of this you are too stupid to be alive much less evil. Please stay away.

Darcy, or any of the Avengers/ Loki:  
He is a literal God. He is possessive and tried to destroy earth for a temper tantrum. DO NOT ENGAGE.

Spider-Man and Peter Parker  
Are both under Deadpool's protection. If I need to say more you should walk out now.

Clint Barton, and Family are under Black Widow's protection.  
Try and _**DIE!**_

 


	2. Lesson 2

Lesson 2.

This next lesson has been neglected for all of history. But I cannot stress it out enough.

            _ **D O. N O T. P I S S. O F F. T H E. Q U I E T. O N E.**_

Now I understand that the quiet one or the 'normal' one seems like an easy target. They often seem to be timid or responsible or _sane_. Do not be fooled by this exterior. They are evil geniuses that got stuck on the wrong side. 

Dr. Banner is of course the obvious example. But there are innumerable times when the louder or more obviously psychotic ones are simply covers for the psychotic reactions of the ' _sane'_ one.

The following are examples.

Daniel Williams. Although Steven McGarret seems like the one to beware keep in mind that it was Detective Williams who strapped a man to the hood of his car and proceed to race across Hawaii.

Dr. Watson. Seriously his entire life is proof of the fact that you don't underestimate the quite ones.

Mrs. Hudson. Perhaps the worst one out there. Don't be fooled. (Just in general stay away from her the last one near her 'fell out a window' ...Like a lot.)

Hermione Granger. Too smart for your lot don't try anything. Is in your best interest. 

Q. Dude seriously if you get on his bad side your life is over. He won't even need to leave his couch. Just DON'T.

Castiel. Puppy eyes, confused or not. He is a bad ass angel of the Lord. DO NOT ENGAGE. 

So just remember the words of Dean Winchester. Do NOT Fuck with the nerd Angels. Or the quiet ones. Just don't.

 


End file.
